John O’Leary is an 18 year-old 6′ 3″ blond, Catholic boy, who is standing in line to meet  his  school career’s officer. He has absolutely no idea what he would like to do. Being Catholic he is allowed at least one epiphany in his life and luckily, his arrives now. He is going to be Woody Allen!

There follows a number of surreal episodes which include:

  • John/Woody having to convince his mother, (who spends a lot of her day knitting crucifixes for her priest), to accept his new Jewish faith and persona;
  • meeting a nihilist goth at a house of mourning and marrying her,  only to find out shortly after saying  I do, that she is a lesbian;
  • discovering therapy and developing a stand up comedy routine.

As success and fame beckons and a second romance blossoms with a baker of phallic patisserie, Woody realises that all is not as it seems when at a retro Annie Hall party he meets a second Woody Allen, who is an undercover agent for the C.I.A.